The Great Napkin Debate - July 2009
I have a secret yet burning passion for origami. This may be attributable to my fumbling digits and their inability to fold the most lightweight paper in a neat and crease-free manner. But it also has a lot to do with a 2D item being teased by nimble hands into something very much 3D. I find the transformation process really rather exciting and am intrigued by the apparently limitless possibilities a piece of paper holds. Swan? Sure. Flapping crane? Why not? I’m pretty sure I have a pattern for a set of ‘Chattering Teeth’ kicking about somewhere too.
So with a sheet of paper slyly concealing such a wealth of three dimensional opportunities, which jackass decided to use trees to make paper napkins?
Every mother is guilty; they spot napkins being dispensed in any sort of eatery in an unregulated manner, can barely control themselves and can be seen trotting back to their table clutching the napkin equivalent of a silver birch. Following which, a ladylike dab at the corner of the mouth from mum, condemns an almost unsoiled napkin to the bin. Yes, little Timmy may have a tendency to cover himself in Ketchup, but I’m sure that a single cleverly used napkin is more effective and environmentally friendly than just rolling the boy around on top of a crash mat of napkins.
In a domestic sense I have to point out that, if like my family your dining table is in the kitchen (allowing for gloriously easy access to seconds at dinner time), your napkin needing mouth is about five metres away from a free dishcloth. And surely no further than ten from a free tap and flannel. Christ, your cuff is sitting right next to your hand. With all of these alternate face cleaning methods at your disposal free of charge, the use of an expensive paper napkin is just frivolous. Let’s all mop our greasy chops with a fiver, shall we?
Paper napkins are wasteful and expensive with ludicrously short life spans, while re-useable napkins require regular washing throughout their much longer life span, not to mention the abundance of resources gobbled up by the manufacturing processes of both kinds. Dare to whisper the words napkin, environment or waste across the keyboard into any search engine and a whole world of debate opens up. Environmentalists arguing the earth loving joys of re-useable cloth napkins over disposable ones are electronically battling it out with smart arses preaching the surprisingly eco-friendly ways of paper napkins. There are pros and cons of each and frankly, I shun both camps in favour of the humble sleeve so as to avoid potentially furious debate.
However, should I happen to be frequenting a restaurant with a hankering for some barbeque ribs and find my napkin, paper or otherwise, has been artfully manipulated into the form of a half-peeled banana, I will abandon all of the above to shove that thing around my messy mouth with unbridled joy.
Another light-hearted "Green Living" article from Brogan Jane (Crusty Sleeved)
Another light-hearted "Green Living" article from Brogan Jane (Crusty Sleeved)